Observatoire critique des transformations en éducation et formation des adultes
How To Reboot Your Relationship
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You’ve been together for a while, but somehow the activity flow in your relationship is getting a little repetitive. Both of you often complain about the boredom that’s been weighing on your mind. Surprise dinners and little thoughtful gifts stopped a while ago. In fact, you don’t even dress up for your partner anymore. The smiles have quickly turned to frowns. Inside you think maybe someone else can bring you back to life – but you remember that the grass is not always greener on the other side.
Flowers only come on Mother’s Day. A bottle of cologne only comes on Father’s Day. No one is impressed, however you just sit in your dead end situation hoping things will turn around. After all, you do love them. In the past you complained about your needs, but they fell on deaf ears. Now your relationship is in a straight up rut. Still no one is saying anything. Why start an argument…
The facts…Relationships are hard work. They can be draining. The hardest part is really trying to meet the needs of your partner, day in and day out. If you are married or seriously committed, look back to when you first moved in together – yes there were good and bad times, but you tried nonetheless. True, you probably weren’t used to living under the same roof – you probably got overwhelmed fast. All those damn responsibilities got in the way of your honeymoon feeling. The shopping errands for the house, the kid’s activities, etc. Everything slowly fell apart.
The big trick to preserving a relationship, so either party doesn’t go astray is maintaining the thrill. It is important to keep the spices and the juices flowing naturally. Every now or then you have to throw your mate a curve ball to let them know that you still care about them. It’s also important to build a history with one another, especially if your relationship is new. It’s important to have a story to tell.
Before you put your relationship on pause and look elsewhere, think about how to get the thrill back with these few tips from me, Wood:
Put In Some Time
If you live together, you know just about everything about your partner. You probably think you are putting in time because you are home together taking care of the kids and the bills. When I say ‘put in some time’ – I mean take your significant other out to a late night movie (if you can get a sitter) or quick dinner with a quickie afterwards. Just take time out of your busy schedule to let them know that they are appreciated. If not, your expiration date is approaching.
Chivalry Isn’t Dead
If you are super frugal in your relationship – your union will go south fast. Everyone wants to feel special beyond birthdays and holidays. Show your significant other that you value and appreciate them with little gifts that go past the marketed holidays like Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. Stop by the mall and cop her a pair of shoes that she was looking at or grab him a pair of tickets to his favorite sports game. Does he like watches or wallets? Step your game up in the gifting areal. It does make a difference. If you don’t spend a little, your relationship will hit a dead end, and then someone else will be doing the courting.
Turn Up In the Bedroom
Bring your foreplay and passion game back to the front. Verses just jumping into your routine positions – rough her up a bit or whisper your feelings in her ear. Ladies, spend a little more time down below on your mate. Throw on something sexy. Do a little dance for him if you have to. Has he been asking you to do something risqué in the bed that’s safe? If so, then try it. Whatever steps you take – do something that they aren’t used to. Cuddle afterwards. Warm up his bath or cook for her. Nurture the one you love. Go out of your way to turn each other on.
Work Out Together
Sometimes putting the thrill back requires real work. Do something that benefits you both like hitting the gym. Show her how to work the weight machines or bring him into your yoga or dance class. Participating in things that require team work will push each other to the limits. Be sure to shower together afterwards and sip on some healthy smoothies.
Clip Social Media
Sometimes our lives are more exciting in pictures or in our status updates. When you are with your man or woman, make them feel important by turning off social media activities for a while. The updates aren’t going anywhere. Give your partner the one-on-one attention they need. Divorce rates are high and cheating even higher because couples can’t focus on each other. More time is being spent focusing on the outside, updating the world on things that aren’t as important as what’s going on inside your home.
Skip Local – Do Travel
Still playing local? You are grown. Save your money and go see the world with your partner. You are never too busy to just relax and reboot. Nothing is more rewarding to a relationship than traveling. Visit places you’ve never been and stay in hotels you’ve never imagined. Traveling adds to your story. It builds your history.
Leave Work at the Office
So you both put in a lot of hours at work. That is relationship killer #1. If you want to get things right in the home, turn off the laptop and the cell phone and leave the projects back at the office. Sure you can share your day to day hustle, but in moderation or things just become very flat.
Share Your Feelings More
If money is tight, one way to bring the thrill back into your relationship is to do things that are budget-friendly like cooking at home. Make some distinct meals that you both can create together. While cooking, engage in conversations about how you feel about each other. That little small talk can put things back into perspective like your love for one another.
Hold Down the Bills
There is nothing more troublesome than bills everywhere. Fellas, step up to the plate and take care of your household and the finances so your woman can relax her mind for a minute and refocus. If she’s not stressing about the bills, her conversations won’t always be about the household.
Be Silly
Why be so serious all of the time? Life is crazy enough. The trick to a healthy and sustainable relationship is through laughter. Every relationship goes through its hurdles, so being able to just sit on the couch, have a drink and laugh can really bring the thrill back.
Cancel Your Dates
Always out with the fellas just kicking it? Is she always out and about having girlfriend time? Both situations are red flags that each enjoy time with others than with their own mates. If the fellas want another weekend out at the bar – tell them that you prefer to stay in with your baby. Ladies, tell your friends that your next vacation getaway will be with your man.
